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Sunday, August 30, 2009

A Simple Letter


Dear Jesus,

Take it. 



Take my desires


Take my passions, feelings, dreams, kindness, life, character, love for others, my impatience. 


Just take everything. 


It takes too much energy trying to do it by myself. Sides, it's more fun jumping off the cliff.


Love,
An carefree soul



Wednesday, August 26, 2009

On the Road Again...

Five paintings, four months, three loads of laundry (well, at least today), two maxi dresses and one Seattle trip, I am done with summer. 


I've gotten rid of 6-9 bags of clothes, and 4 bags of useless crap that was haunting my closet. I got rid of two bags of books that I will never/don't read anymore. I have rented countless books from the library, and I have written in journal. 

I've been to Santa Cruz, Modesto, San Francisco, Seattle, Chico, and Red Bluff. Tomorrow, I will be in Redding. I have been a passenger in a car, driven a car, rode BART (the Bay Area's Subway), and I've been on a plane. 

Rollar coasters, deep friend twinkies, and shopping have all happened. 

I have seen 7 movies in the theater. All of which I've liked. 

I've seen half the seasons of Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman, and remembered the good times. 

I found out that Lady Gaga is a man.

I have laughed, I have cried, I have farted, I have pooped. 

I have changed my appearance a little bit. Look a little different. 

I have gotten over some things that were hard to let go. I have learned how to move on. 

I have been unemployed, and currently have no money. 

Mostly, I have enjoyed myself. I have made some amazing memories with friends and family. And now, I will embark on a dangerous journey to land of Simpson. Where drugs, sex, and drinking are kept secret. Where people get amazed by God's daily goodness. Where we have a prayer room and freshman and wise seniors. 

And maybe, just maybe, I'll learn a thing or two.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Word Vomit: Jr. High Style

Why do people think it's always about them? Because I can tell you, it's not. It's not about you, or you. Hell, I don't even know what it's about. I just know what I'm feeling, and what sets me off and what doesn't. And now, every little thing sets me off. 


I've helped and I've helped and I have nothing to show for it. Not one thing. I know that's not very "Christian" of me to say, but it's true. So. Here are some things that I want to say to people. I've been wanting to say to people. But I don't have the heart to say it to their face. Because I can't stand it when people break other people's heart. 

Get over yourself. No one cares about what you think or how you feel about it. You're just some dumb bitch who feels like everyone should grovel at your feet. Well, this is one chick who isn't. 

One word: GO! Just go! Pick up your crap and get outta here. Don't keep complaining to me about stuff if you're not gonna get off your butt. You're an adult, act like one. I fully support you, but I'm not going too if you don't start acting like your age.

Stop calling me and expecting me to feel sorry for you. You're had a hard life, harder than most, but that's no excuse. It's time to move on. It's time for YOU to take control of your life.  You'll miss her, and that won't ever change, but take that pain and make it into something.

Why not me? Am I not good enough? Well guess what, I am. So I'm done with you. You're not worth my time. Go screw yourself.

I know you think life sucks at the moment. And it does. But life is what you make it. You may never get what you want. But do you think you would have made it to this point without that influence? Maybe that's what it was about. 

Clean up your damn house. God gave it to you. It's not right to allow those kids to live in filth. 

Keep your room clean! Seriously! It doesn't take a rocket scientist. You can do it. Instead of dropping shit on the floor,put it where it belongs. It's that simple. Make sure to throw away the trash. And once in a while, vacuum and dust. The secret? There isn't one!

We've had some good times, and some bad times. But you know what? The time is now. Stop lying to people and about people. You suck at lying. I never did understand why you lied so much.

I miss you guys. But in a strange way, I'm glad your gone.

I don't care about your boyfriend. Truth is, I'm jealous. Just plain jealous. But you need to be considerate while gushing about him. 

What gives me the right to slander everyone? I don't have a right. But here is a truth for all of you. When I say I'm fine, I'm ususally not. But that means I don't want to talk about it. I want to wallow in self pity. So just leave me be.

Monday, August 10, 2009

What About Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Summer Days

Things to Do Before School:


1. Get some last minute items from the store
2. Pack!
3. Laundry (x 3000)
4. Clean room (for the 20th time this summer)
5. Pack some more
6. Finish preparing Sunday School lessons
7. Read all my library books
8. Make dinner tomorrow
9. babysit here and there
10. Sell my books back to Half Price
11. Hang out with friends from home.
12. Send my FYE kids their letters. 
13. Get stuff I need for my Sunday School kids. 


The End!

I have about 2 1/2 weeks until I'm back at simpson. I was really excited, but I almost can't wait anymore. I was sitting here on my bed thinking that I haven't been around people who really love Jesus in a long time. Like, a really long time. I'm excited to get back to a school where we don't pass judgement on others. Where we make dinners and play honk-n-hide. 

Mostly, I'm excited to see my college family.