It's For That Very Reason You Are

I love it when God shows himself. It doesn't matter how, but the fact that he takes the time to remind me about Him makes me freakishly happy. So, I've been reading Velvet Elvis, but Rob Bell. Awesome man. Awesome readings. But one of the things that struck out to me was when Bell talked about Moses. Moses was constantly arguing with God about choosing someone better.

Exodus 4:10

"But Moses pleaded with the Lord, "O Lord, I'm just not a good speaker, I never have been, and I'm not now, even after you have spoken to me. I'm clumsy with words." 

Basically, Moses stuttered. A lot of leaders in the church challenge their congregation with this classic bible story (among others) by saying that God doesn't care about your physical/mental disabilities; he just wants to use you. And while that is true, Bell pointed out something that I never thought about.

"Moses tries for two chapters to convince God that he has picked the wrong man, and God seems all the more convinced with each question that he has picked the right man." Whoa. When I read it I had to stop and seriously think about it. Bell is talking about questioning in this section. He names several other instances in the bible where people have questioned God. Questioning God isn't wrong, it isn't a sin. Heck, Bell even brings up Jesus on the cross. Jesus didn't die with acceptance. He died with a question "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?" He didn't die saying "sure God, I'll die for you!" He died asking God. Pleading with God. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?

Bells point is "central to the Christian experience is the art of questioning God. Not belligerent, arrogant questions that have no respect for our maker, but naked, honest, vulnerable, raw questions, arising out of the awe that comes from engaging the living God."

Even after that thought processes, and wrestling through what Bell was saying,  I forgot about this until last night. 

Last night I was watching The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian with my brother. God was showing my things left and right about the movie. But the main thing that I was reminded of was this conversation: 

Aslan: Rise Kings and Queens of Narnia [everybody but Prince Caspian rises]. All of you.

Prince Caspian: I do not think I am ready.

Aslan: It is for that very reason I know you are.

As soon as watching that scene, I instantly thought of what Rob Bell was thinking. Questioning God (or in this case, Aslan) is about humbling yourself. It's about saying, "God, I don't think I'm ready for this, are you sure? If you're sure, then I'm in." It's not about asking stupid, ignorant questions.

It's about being Moses, Jesus, and Prince Caspian. "Moses pleaded with the Lord," "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" "I do not think I am ready."

It's for that very reason you are. 

I am a fan of prayer.

And with being a fan of prayer, they have awesome quotes that they put up. So, as it is 2:17am, here is my motivation for the morning/night:

Faith is no irresponsible shot in the dark. It is a responsible trust in God, who knows the desires of your hearts, the dreams you are given, and the goals you have set. He will guide your paths right. -- Robert Schuller --

Classes Classes Everywhere and Not a Spot to Think

Here's my (hopefully) final class schedule this next fall:

Mon, Wed, Fri

8am-9am- Intro to Biology

9:02-9:08- Scheduled poop (not a class, but very important indeed)

9:10am-10:10am- Hermeneutics 

10:20am-11:20am- FYE or Chapel... depending on the day

12:40-1:40- Youth Min 1

4:10-5:10- Intro to Lit

Tues/Thurs

9:40-11:10- Ministry to Adults (Griffin class....holla!)

11:20-1:50- Biology Lab (Thurs only)

4:20-5:50- Leadership class (First Tues every month)

Yup. So, mon, wed, fri's are going to the worst, but oh well. 

Ephesians 3:14-18

My prayer for the wonderful women on my floor next year in good ole Morgan:

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.  And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 

This prayer will be hanging in my room next year. A reminder to myself, a reminder to the girls whom God will be giving me and Jenni to pray over. A reminder of His unfailing strength and love. 

May the Lord be with you

The Kingdom of God...

So, since its summer, I'm thinking about pretty much nothing. Actually, I've been a little down in the dumps because I don't have a job. But, Alanna is finally done with finals and is coming home on Saturday, I'm making dinner tonight (rosemary lemon chicken and roasted potatoes...yum!), and I'm job hunting tomorrow! 

I told Jenni that I was going to just work at the GAP (the store that my bro is the assistant manager to), but after really thinking hard on it, and praying about it....I'm not sure if that's where is God is leading me. So, if I get a job, great. If not, then God is in control and he will provide. I think that in some ways, looking for a job has turned me into Jonah again. I'm using my job hunt as an excuse to not spend time with God, and to not trust God. But no longer. This summer was supposed to be a summer of growth and prayer and family. Instead it's been consumed by bad attitudes and sickness and unemployment. But no longer. Besides, I still have 14 weeks and 6 days left of summer. (Translation: about 3 1/2 months)

The Kingdom of God

The Kingdom of God is justice and peace

And joy, in the Holy Spirit

Come Lord, and open in us, the gates of your kingdom

I will forever be grateful that Mark Carter taught us that song in chapel....

I Wonder....

Sometimes I wonder when my turn is going to happen....

Summer sucks. Jobless, friendless, laziness.

Feed a Cold, Starve a Fever...

Only I don't have a fever. I am however, sick. Now, since it's summer and I don't have a job, I'm on Facebook a lot. And I've noticed that a lot of other Simpson people are sick as well. Hmm...Simpson Plague while we're all on break? Who would've thought it was possible?

So...it's been about two weeks of my four month summer break, and I'm itching to go back to Redding already. That's pretty much been my thought process this entire break. I wake up in the morning wishing that I was still at school, having to go to classes and such. However, I have to get over it. As much as I don't like it, I'm in the Bay Area for my summer break, and I'm going to make the most of it. 

At least, that's what I decided when I was at school thinking about summer. Now, I've been doing the same old thing since I got home. Looking for jobs (pretty much on my mind 24/7), reading a ton, and watching TV.  Even though I'm really tired of it, I've actually been reading the book that my life group was supposed to be reading (The Power of a Praying Woman), and it's been pretty good. One of the chapters is about God's calling on your life, and how you have to give up your dreams sometimes to let God work in your life.

Wow. If only I actually read at the beginning of last semester, it would have helped. I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought, but you know, whatever. Anyway, it was good stuff. I never really thought that I was giving up dreams to go with God's plan for me, but I totally have been. I gave up my "dream" of going to grad school, I gave up my dream of getting a psych degree. I gave up my dream of having a peaceful spring break. 

So my plans for summer, going to school, getting a full time job. Those I'm giving up as well. I'm still going to be getting a job (I hope), but I told God that I didn't want a job if it meant risking my relationship with him. Let me explain, last summer I was going to school part time and working like, 50 hours a week. My relationship with God suffered a lot, and I mean a lot. So, I've had some worries and conversations with God about that. I told God that if a job I was applying for was going to take away my focus from him to that job, I didn't want it. 

Needless to say, I still don't have a job, LoL. I do, however, have more time to paint and read my bible (only two things I do as an act of worship). Way to go God! Now if he would ust answer my prayer for a man...haha. Just kidding...sort of! Anyway, I'm excited to start praying for my floor this next year. I'm on first floor Morgan again (same room). However, I'm rooming with Jenni! That's scary and exciting at the same time. I'm also going to be an FYE leader, and I'm on the blog team for Simpson next year. So I have that to look forward too. 

I love blogging...it helps pass the time away, and it's fun! 

Just Click Your Heels Three Times....

I wish that worked. As much as I enjoy, and love, my family, I wish I could be in Redding right at this moment. Sure, it's nice to have fun with my parents, eat real food, and be able to read a book without it relating to homework. But Redding is my home, like I've mentioned before. 

Now that I'm done ranting, I must say I did have a good week last week. It started right after graduation with me and Jenni driving off campus to the song "Here we Go" by N*sync. It ended with me landing in Oakland, CA thirty minutes late than I was supposed to.  

My two favorite things about Seattle were Pike Place Market (including the first Startbucks...oh my gosh), and the Pacific Science Center. Pike Place is kinda like Fisherman's Wharf, but with the best corn dogs known to man. And the science center is amazing with it's giant table and chairs and shadow wall.  But the best part ever, was Janelle came to join us! At first it was going to be just me and Jenni, but Jenelle ended up randomly coming.

So, that has been my break thus far. I've finished my fourth book of my summer, and have a huge chunk to go! I'm actually hoping to get my "Christian-read" on. I'm hitting up Rob Bell, Shane Claibourne, Dallas Williard, Beth Moore, and many others. What does God have to say about becoming a leader? Prayer? Lies? 

Despite my feelings of wanting to go home, I'm making the most of this summer. I was going to take a summer class, but its already filled up, with ten on the waiting list. So I'm taking that as a sign of God wanting me to take a summer to chill and work on my character. I do have to get a job, however....hopefully I get one. 

One season ends, and another begins. Two roads, and only one I can take. '

"The Road Not Taken"

By Robert Frost

"...I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- 
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."